Sunday, May 20, 2012

8 tips for new moms {take em or leave em}

I'm linking up to e-myself-and-i to share my tips and advice for new moms.  I'm not a" new" mom, but I have a 9 month old and I haven't had a 9 month old in 4 years, so I have enjoyed reading through all the tips and advice.  I have three kids, but in my own personal experience, all of my babies were like first babies because none of them were the same.  What worked for one didn't necessarily work for the next.  It's a constant learning process, just when you think you have this mothering thing down, your baby will throw you for a loop. 


No doubt you are reading through all of these link ups and feeling pretty overwhelmed with so many different view points and bits of advice. 

I've made a list of 8 things that I have learned and found that worked for me with my three babies.  These tips may not be for you, but here they are, use 'em or lose 'em.

#1. politely ignore advice that you don't agree with
You will receive way more advice than you could ever possible need and it may not be right for you.  Don't worry about pleasing everyone.  If you get advice from your second cousins aunt about the proper way to warm the bottle, just nod your head politely and ignore.  You need to do what's right for you. 



#2 don't compare
I have a bad habit of doing this.  I compare my babies/kids with others the same age.  Yes, there are certain milestones that babies/kids should reach by a certain time, but that time is not set in stone.  Some babies develop language really fast, but are slower to develop physically with crawling and walking, while other babies are the opposite. These babies are walking by 10 months, but aren't saying much. 

Abigail developed language early on, while my boys were more physically advanced.  This is a typical difference between boys and girls, but don't forget about the fact that all babies are different. 




#3 resist peer pressure
This one is similar to #1, except for the fact that peer pressure can come from doctors, media, or even strangers.  I felt a lot of pressure to breast feed my babies.  Not from any person in particular, but just because of society.   I felt like if I didn't I was really doing my kids an injustice.  Breastfeeding is sooooooo beneficial for babies, but you are in no way harming your baby if it just doesn't work out for you.  I did end up breastfeeding all my babies for a few months, but I couldn't do it any longer than that.  It put too much pressure on me while going back to work and I do not in any way regret switching to formula.  I know myself well enough to know I would be a better/calmer/more relaxed mommy if I did.

This one is not just about breastfeeding.  It could be about disposable/cloth diapers, what bottles to use, to use a pacifier or not, to let your baby cry it out or not. 

Just do what is best for you and your baby and don't worry about keeping up with the supposed super moms out there.

{no such thing}


#4 babies can be nasty
I think God knew exactly what he was doing when he made babies so cute and delicious looking.  He knew that us parents would find it much easier to deal with there spit up, poop, vomit, pee, drool, snot, and general stickiness, if they were just soooo adorable. 

 Just be prepared to have bodily fluids on your clothes most everyday.

I'll bet you can guess by that face what he's doing. It ain't pretty!!

#5 get out of the house
Some new moms tend to think that once they have a baby at home, they can't go anywhere.  Now this bit of advice still hinges on #1.  You do what's right for you.  I just remember finding myself feeling stir crazy after staying home with my baby all day.  After a few weeks and you feel like your old self again, take a trip to Target with your baby.  You will be surprise how much better you feel. 

This will get tricky as you have more kids, but with that first baby, just go for it. 



#6 do something physical or relaxing
When you start to feel overwhelmed with the crying baby, or the baby that won't latch on properly, take a walk.  I all too often would start to feel like I might lose my mind if I had to clean up one more spot of spit up or listen to one more second of a screaming baby. 

Step away and get some fresh air.  After six weeks, I found that getting away for at least thirty minutes a day to workout or run really helped me clear my head.  Did I do it every day? No, that's sort of unrealistic, but even a few times a week was so nice.

Maybe you hate working out, so instead do something relaxing.  Take a nice hot bubble bath, go shopping, take a nap.  Just take some time for yourself.  Believe it or not, your six week old will hardly know you were gone. 


THIS IS MY LIFE



#7 don't forget about your husband
Believe me I know how easy it is to get so wrapped up your sweet little baby and completely ignore your husband.  Try and make things a team effort.  He should be your number one ally in all of this.  It takes two to make a baby so let/make him help you. 
Unfortunately men can be similar to babies in the fact that if you ignore for too long they can become very fussy.  A happy husband is a helpful husband! 



#8 enjoy them
I know this is hard to believe, but before you know it your chubby cheeked, little drooly face will be starting school and boy will you miss cuddling them in your arms.  My oldest is 6 years old now and sometimes I look back at those baby pictures and wish I could hold her like that again, one more time.   Forget the housework, the stress of work, or all your obligations and just try and soak up every ounce of that baby smell. 



That last one is so important.  I am guilty of sometimes wishing they would hurry up and get past this stage or that stage.  I try and remind myself, even when I am about to lose my mind with stress, that this will only last for a short time. I can do it!

To all the new moms reading this--I know you're tired, but you got this!!!!

Keep up the good work!! 


6 comments:

  1. All good tips!! (mom to a 14 month old) It just gets more fun everyday, but its still a lot of work. I love it!

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  2. Such good advice... Thank you!

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  3. All of it soo true! Great advice!

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  4. This is great! Thanks for sharing!

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  5. Great post! Especially #2...

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  6. I wish you wrote this and I read this 3.5 years ago... not comparing is soooo hard.

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