Someone found this old picture of me and Brent at our church this past weekend. I just couldn't stop staring at it.
When did we become grown ups??
Our lives are so different from 9 years ago. Nine years doesn't seem like a long time, but sheesh!! So much has changed. We are almost completely different people. My 20 year old self wouldn't even recognize my 29 year old self.
I wish I could go back and tell my 20 year old self a few things. Nothing major, but a few small things about life.
I would tell her to CHILL OUT AND ENJOY HER LIFE! I was such a control freak! I panicked over the stupidest stuff. I know I drove Brent crazy back them. Now I can look back and realize how easy my life was without kids or a stressful job. I thought it was hard, but I didn't know what hard was.
I've mellowed some, but I still struggle with worrying and panicking a lot. I'm sort of a cup half empty sort of person always looking at the bad side of things, but I've been getting better.
I would also tell her to SPEND MORE TIME WITH HER HUSBAND. I neglected Brent a lot in those first couple of years of marriage. I was always at my Mom's house or going places with Mom and Kelsie. I didn't really plan my days around spending some time with Brent.
Now what I wouldn't give for one date night a month.
I would also tell her that she is NOT FAT! Oh my goodness, I thought I was a fat cow back then. If only she could see me now, maybe she would appreciate her young fit body a little more.
Lastly I would tell her to LEAN ON GOD MORE. I've always struggle with an up and down, roller coaster type or relationship with God. There are times in my life where I wish I had trusted in Him more and had more faith in Him, that he would take care of things. I'm still telling myself this today. It's a constant work in progress, which I suppose is how it should be.
I'm very happy with where my life is right now. I've got a great husband, with a good job. I've got three awesome kiddos. We own a house, that we are trying to sell, but I know God is in control of that situation. I'm quitting my job to follow God's will or being a stay at home mom (yay)!! We are all healthy and happy! These are the important things in life and it's taken me probably 9 years to get to a point where I understand this.
Money, a house, a nice car, possessions, jobs, and keeping up with the Joneses will not bring you happiness!!
I think I'm finally starting to really, fully understand this. Not that I don't want a nice home, or the newest iPhone, but my happiness is not dependent on it. It's a good feeling and great place to be!
If you could go back in time, what would you tell your 20 year old self???