a few things I would tell my 20 year old self

2004

                                                                            2013

Someone found this old picture of me and Brent at our church this past weekend.  I just couldn't stop staring at it.

When did we become grown ups??

Our lives are so different from 9 years ago.  Nine years doesn't seem like a long time, but sheesh!! So much has changed.  We are almost completely different people.  My 20 year old self wouldn't even recognize my 29 year old self.  

I wish I could go back and tell my 20 year old self a few things.  Nothing major, but a few small things about life.  

I would tell her to CHILL OUT AND ENJOY HER LIFE!  I was such a control freak!  I panicked over the stupidest stuff.  I know I drove Brent crazy back them.  Now I can look back and realize how easy my life was without kids or a stressful job.  I thought it was hard, but I didn't know what hard was.  

I've mellowed some, but I still struggle with worrying and panicking a lot.  I'm sort of a cup half empty sort of person always looking at the bad side of things, but I've been getting better.  

I would also tell her to SPEND MORE TIME WITH HER HUSBAND.  I neglected Brent a lot in those first couple of years of marriage.  I was always at my Mom's house or going places with Mom and Kelsie.  I didn't really plan my days around spending some time with Brent.  

Now what I wouldn't give for one date night a month.  

I would also tell her that she is NOT FAT!   Oh my goodness, I thought I was a fat cow back then.  If only she could see me now, maybe she would appreciate her young fit body a little more.  

Lastly I would tell her to LEAN ON GOD MORE.   I've always struggle with an up and down, roller coaster type or relationship with God.  There are times in my life where I wish I had trusted in Him more and had more faith in Him, that he would take care of things.  I'm still telling myself this today.  It's a constant work in progress, which I suppose is how it should be.  

I'm very happy with where my life is right now.  I've got a great husband, with a good job.  I've got three awesome kiddos.  We own a house, that we are trying to sell, but I know God is in control of that situation.  I'm quitting my job to follow God's will or being a stay at home mom (yay)!!  We are all healthy and happy!  These are the important things in life and it's taken me probably 9 years to get to a point where I understand this. 

Money, a house, a nice car, possessions, jobs, and keeping up with the Joneses will not bring you happiness!! 

I think I'm finally starting to really, fully understand this.  Not that I don't want a nice home, or the newest iPhone, but my happiness is not dependent on it.  It's a good feeling and great place to be!

If you could go back in time, what would you tell your 20 year old self???